Is Morrissey Ever Wrong?

Honestly. 

I've been on a mini (mini?) hiatus from blogging and blog reading and I'm trying to get caught up in the last few days - I really miss my blogging buddies!  Thing is - (selfish alert!) even though I'm used to the idea of A being an only child - I'm really jealous of those cycling or pregnant again (well I told you it was selfish!).  I'm so happy for anyone that can get through this maze, but lately, with the marital issues, I've had to safeguard myself.

I think I see some light at the end of the tunnel though - I'm feeling better about my home situation (and stupidly dying to cycle and even thinking seriously of doing it!) and gathering more and more sanities as my allies.  Always helpful.

It also hurts to read blogs when people haven't been successful and that's why I decided to post tonight - Mr T. was listening to my favorite Smiths song that I've heard a couple of time recently too (I listened to this song every day that my grandfather was dying.   I thought he could make it.  I'm often wrong.).

Good times for a change (see the coincidence - Good Times??  I think I need frosting.) I refrained - go me!
See the luck I've had
Could make a good man turn bad

So please, please, please
Let me, let me, let me (let you, let you, let you)
Let me get what I want
This time

Haven't had a dream in a long time (fucking freaky dreams if you want to know the truth)
See the life I've had
Could make a good man bad (amen brother)

So for once in my life
Let me get what I want
Lord knows it would be the first time
Lord knows it would be the first time

'Lord knows it would be about time' - those would be my words, but who am I?  Not his songwriter certainly.  I mean "girlfriend in a coma"?  Pshah - I don't have a chance at that kind of brilliance.

Where was I?  Oh yes, at the bottom of my bottle of wine that I said I would only have two glasses out of.  Ergo this post.  Um.

So what's new with you?

Belfast Rules!

I've always loved the murals in Belfast - my brother in law took us on a grand tour all through the city so I could take pictures of them.  He just sent some new ones and they are hilarious!
DSC00702 DSC00703 DSC00705

As for bloglines - apparently if I go to bloglines.com, I can click on my feeds and get them, but when I go to bloglines.com/myblogs I get directed to an entirely different site.  Who knows?!

Bloglines??

Ok, I know I haven't been around for a while - been here and there and blah, blah, excuse, excuse- but um, bloglines? My lifeline to the infertile universe??  I'm totally lost without it - what happened?  Does anyone know?  Help me!

The Want

HPIM0500

Once I was so sure
Now the doubt inside my mind
Comes and goes, but leads nowhere*
 
Fuck off ghost of ivf future - ain't gonna happen. 
 
Three drawers full of memories doesn't look like that many years of heartache when dumped on the couch, does it?  Honestly?  I caress them like my old cat - look at the half empty progesterone bottle, crack a smile at the four year old vial of gonalF, rip open an alcohol swab just to bring me back to the hellish times, try to get rid of that pesky repronex! 
 
Yes, I'm sick. I freely admit it.  I'm an ivf whore; sick and jealous and lucky and grateful.  And done.  Time for my hidden treasures to meet the sidewalk (or the pharmacy as happens).  I have insulin syringes!  For lupron! Which I haven't had since 2003! 
 
Certainly clearing all these old ghosts will start something positive, no?
 
*anyone who gets this without googling gets a prize - yes a real prize (either cookies or a sausage bread).
 
**Maybe I'll jab G in the ass for good measure before everything gets trashed.

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Do you ever click on your own blog just in case someone had the heart to post something for you in your absence?  Just me eh?

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